If Only
by Cheeky The Monkey
Summary: During Endgame (spoilers!) What if, when retrieving the Tesseract, Tony met someone else too? Someone that was much closer to his heart. Someone that meant much more to him than his abusive father. Someone he had been longing to meet again. "Well you meet a lot of people, Sir."


His feet glided across the ground as he followed his father through the crowds of workers. It felt like he was in a dream. Or a nightmare. He hadn't quite decided yet.

Whatever he felt, Tony knew that it was the opportunity of a lifetime. He had accumulated so many questions for Howard over the years, but every single one seemed to escape his mind like tiny grains of sand slipping through his firm fingers.

For some reason, all the bad blood that had been boiling towards his father had cooled down in an instant. Howard Stark suddenly seemed like any other man.

_A man that treated you like garbage._  
A voice nagged in his mind, but he brushed it aside and continued to walk. He was not going to let hatred ruin the limited special time he had.

After, all it wasn't everyday that you got to give parenting advice to your abusive father.

"Oh shoot, I forgot the legal docs. Peg's gonna kill me." Howard said once the pair had made their way into the courtyard. He outstretched his hand and Tony shook it heartily. "It was nice to meet you, Mr Potts. You've made me feel a lot better about my kid. Your daughter is a real lucky girl to have someone like you in her life."

Tony was a shaky mess, so he fished through his mind to find a sensible reply.

"Good luck with your kid." He stammered eventually.

Howard just laughed and, with a twinkle in his eye, briskly walked back into the complex to retrieve the papers and hopefully avoid Peggy Carter's wrath as he did so.

And so Tony was left to gaze after him, his knees wobbling like jelly, scarcely able to believe his encounter. He didn't even realise that his grip on the precious briefcase had loosened, and only acknowledged it when it fell out of his hand completely.

"Shit." He cursed softly, scrambling onto the ground to pick it back up again, grateful that it hadn't opened to reveal the stolen Tesseract.

It was only as he was standing up did he notice him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw an all-too-familiar face. Not a face that was plastered on the sides of buses, or under every other newspaper headline, or even printed on top-secret SSR files. No, this was a face that had long retired in a corner of Tony's heart. A face that made Tony feel like all of time had frozen around him. A face that had always been behind the camera, and so seeing it again made Tony's shaky legs feel like they were going to give up on him at any given moment, causing him to collapse into the caring man's arms. A face belonging to someone that Tony loved so much, that he didn't even realise that he was walking towards him.

There, dressed as smartly as ever in front of his Dad's car, stood Edwin Jarvis.

"Can I help you?"

He wasn't sure how he ended up facing his family's former butler, but he didn't regret it. He knew that he had to make some sort of conversation, but the witty-comment-generator in his brain appeared to be malfunctioning.

Still, he tried his best to "improvise", as Cap had put it. "Uh- um, you're Howard Stark's butler, right?"

A sliver of pride flashed across the Englishman's face briefly, before dissolving into the civilised gentleman persona. It didn't go unnoticed to Tony. "Yes, I am." He outstretched his hand, just as Howard had done. This time, when Tony shook it, he didn't want to let go. "Edwin Jarvis," The man continued. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr..?"

"Potts." Tony replied hastily. "Howard Potts."

"Oh, not another one." Jarvis teased with a tired smile, chuckling at his own joke for a few seconds before silencing himself at the expense of making fun of his employer.

Tony hadn't realised how much he'd missed the sound of Edwin's voice. He had become too used to the synthetic replica (although even that had been gone for several years) that he'd almost forgotten how soothing it was to him. It was a crisp yet comforting voice that used to reassure him when he was upset, that read him bedtime stories that were meant for children much older that him, and relax him whenever he cried with a grazed knee or any other minor injury.

A voice that Tony's subconscious recognised as fatherly.

"I was just uh, talking to Howard Stark about being a dad." Tony said, desperate to stretch out the conversation as much as he could. "He looked pretty stressed about it. You see I've got a young daughter and I thought I could give him some words of wisdom, one father to another."

In that moment he longed for Jarvis to know who he was, just so that he could witness the pride on the butler's face to see the boy that he'd raised (or will raise, in his timeline) become a father of his own. But he knew that it was impossible, so he had to satisfy himself with the casual but happy look he received instead.

"You know, he's only half as worried as he should be." Jarvis said suddenly, in a tone that someone would use to share gossip. "All he's really thinking about is school and work and legacy… he seems to have completely forgotten about the entire childhood stage."

Tony heard blood pounding in his ears as he clung onto every word that tumbled out of Edwin's mouth.

"It makes me rather nervous. What if the child doesn't like me? I would love nothing more than to get the chance to spend time with them, but Mr Stark holds very strong feelings on letting the child be independent and strong. He has some silly motto about Stark children which I completely disagree with."

Tony was entranced by Jarvis's speech, and every sentence caused his heart to wrench painfully. He would give anything to go back to his youth where it was just him and Jarvis.

Life was so much simpler then. No Iron Man, no aliens, no Thanos. Just young Tony and his family.

"You know," began Tony, "you make it sound like you're gonna be the father, not Howard."

A blush rose to Edwin's cheeks causing him to clear his throat awkwardly. "Oh, I'm sorry about that. N-No, that's not the case at all." He paused for a moment, and a wistful smile tugged at his lips. "It's just that my wife can't have children."

Tony didn't know that. He felt a sudden pang of sadness for his father-figure. The time that he had sacrificed for his younger self suddenly made a lot more sense.

"I do hope I can be some sort of a father to the Stark child, though."

Said Stark child placed a warm, comforting hand on Edwin's shoulder; an action he had wanted to do for years. "I have a feeling you will, Mr Jarvis. And I know that the Stark child will love you very, very much because you _deserve_ that love, J."

Tony said this to reassure his butler, but there was a weight to his words that spoke far louder than either of them could comprehend. A weight that caused his usually witty voice to crack with grief.

"Thank you, Sir. I shall treasure your kind words."

As if in a trance, the two seemed to smoothly run out of conversation, leaving Tony to stare at Jarvis in awe and admiration while Edwin gave him a look of mutual friendship.

The butler suddenly snapped back to reality though, and Jarvis rubbed his temples in embarrassment, his cheeks even redder than before. "I do apologise Mr Potts, I don't know what came over me in order to suddenly burden you with my silly little troubles. Do forgive me."

Tony smiled with pure joy, his eyes brimming with hot tears. "Always."

Without warning, he pulled the tall man in for a hug. At first Jarvis seemed shocked and his body was stiff, but he soon melted into the embrace. Once again, Tony found himself trapped in a blissful moment that he never wanted to end. "There's nothing to forgive. Thank you for existing." Tony wanted to say, but the words were lost on his tongue. Time was frozen around them, leaving only a Stark and his Jarvis to share a moment that would stay with them for the rest of their lives.

"Sorry it took so long, Jarvis- Oh, Mr Potts. I see you've met my butler. Careful now, you're both married men."

Tony reluctantly pulled away to find that Howard had returned with a folder full of papers in his hand. He then looked at Jarvis who was extremely flustered due to Tony's unexpected embrace.

That was one thing to cross of his bucket list.

_"Stark! Your five o'clock."_ Steve's voice hissed in his ear. He spun around and sure enough, there was Steve hidden behind a pile of large crates. Steve gestured wildly with his arms and Tony tapped his briefcase lightly as a reply.

He had almost forgotten about the Tesseract.

"I, uh, really need to be going." Tony excused before stumbling towards Steve, knowing full well that if he stayed a moment longer then he would start bawling like a baby. He took one last look at the two influential men, before beginning to prepare for his journey back to his rightful time. A time without his parents.

A time without Jarvis.

"So, what did you think of that Potts guy?" Howard asked his butler as he entered his car once Tony was out of earshot. "Have I met him before?"

Edwin Jarvis smiled, his heart warm and unusually heavy for a reason that he couldn't explain.

"Well you meet a lot of people, Sir."


End file.
